Carrot Lox Spread

I have this weird fascination with vegan food. I love turning a normal recipe into it's vegan counterpart, or tricking my family into eating a full plate of vegetables and legumes without them knowing it! Mwhahahahaha!!!!

The funny part is that I'm not even vegan. I just like the challenge. I do, however, think veganism is a great idea. I love animals and I understand the health and environmental benefits of eating a plant-based diet. Knowing my dinner hurts animals, pollutes our clean air and water and is probably giving me cancer and/or heart disease is not a happy thought. But, hey! I was raised Mormon! My people know how to "Turn it off, like a light switch!" If there are thoughts/ideas we don't want to confront, we just look the other way and focus on what we do like... like the taste of bacon... or real half and half in your coffee... or visiting teachers with freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.

I was raised on meat, and meat tastes delicious, and it's a hard habit to break. Part of the challenge for me is that I don't actually know enough quick easy foods to satisfy me that are vegan. I'm sure they're out there, but in my mind, they all require a lot of thought and planning and cooking and I need to be prepared for those emergency hunger moments where, "I MUST HAVE FOOD NOW!!!" My mind and my kitchen have not yet been trained to be ready for the vegan version of that. I do believe, however, that if I just keep adding vegan recipes to my culinary vocabulary that it is better than nothing. At least I'm eating plant-based meals some of the time, and, if nothing else, I'm getting a more balanced diet, which I think everyone agrees is a good idea.

So, with that said, I have created a vegan version of one of my favorite recipes. I've had this Ina Garten cookbook for years - Barefoot Contessa PARTIES! Ideas and Recipes for Easy Parties That Are Really Fun - and one recipe that I've used over and over is her Caviar Dip recipe. You can find it on the Food Network website here. Since salmon roe can be hard to find, I have often used loosely chopped smoked salmon instead. It makes a great addition to the brunch table or Christmas gift for any of your pescatarian friends.

Before I get started, let me first warn you that this entire recipe takes about 2 full days to complete!

I started with making the Carrot Lox in this recipe from Olives for Dinner. I have only made it once, and I was a little skeptical that it wouldn't be fishy enough, but, for some reason, the liquid smoke really does the job here. I will, however, try it again with less liquid smoke, maybe some smoked salt instead and some hijiki seaweed in the marinade to get that fishy flavor. But that's just because I can't help but mess with things!!! It's really an impressive smoked salmon substitute just as it is.

The vegan cream cheese was equally impressive to me, too. Here is the recipe from Yup, It's Vegan! You really do have to be patient with the cashews in the blender here. She says 5 minutes, but I'm sure I was sitting at that blender pushing things around for more like 20 minutes. I think the heat created by the motor helps release the oils, so just keep going until the motor gets hot! I ended up adding about a half cup of water to loosen it up. I used the So Delicious yogurt she suggested and the results were amazing! It is very much like real cream cheese with that same nice tang. I kept it on top of our radiator for about 24 hours and it seemed to be the perfect temperature. Keep in mind that we have water radiators, not steam, so they never get so hot that they can burn you.

So, now that you have your fake smoked salmon and your fake cream cheese you can make your awesome Carrot Lox Spread! See my recipe below:

1 full recipe of Olives for Dinner's Carrot Lox, chopped into 1/2 inch chunks
1 full recipe of Yup, It's Vegan!'s Cashew Cream Cheese
1 cup of chopped fresh dill
1/3 cup finely chopped red onion
1/4 cup nonpareil capers
lemon juice to taste
salt and freshly cracked pepper to taste (my husband felt no extra salt was needed)

Mix it all in a bowl until combined. Serve on toasted bagels or with crackers. Makes about 4 cups of spread. To be honest, I did not actually measure out things exactly as I made this recipe. I'm guesstimating, so really, every ingredient is "to taste." Experiment with the proportions until you find a combo you like. But, now you know the main ingredients: fake smoked salmon, fake cream cheese, fresh dill, chopped red onion, capers, lemon juice, and salt & pepper.

For an added treat, end this meal, or serve along side it, some pickled ginger, like they have at sushi restaurants. I found it in the Asian section of my grocery store. It cleanses the palate nicely after all that fishy smoke.  And you burp up nice ginger burps afterwards, instead of fishy burps.

One last note: I highly recommend this for any newly pregnant moms out there who are missing their smoked salmon. Who knew lox would be off the menu when you get knocked up!?

Enjoy!

To buy Theatre in the Mist pre-sale chicken dinner tickets for their fundraising dinner on September 10, 2015 click on the "Buy Now" button below.

Neat Balls

Last year I discovered an awesome vegan meatloaf recipe from The Engine 2 Diet. It turns out the base "meat" of this recipe is a great meat substitute in lots of other recipes, too. I love Italian sausage with spaghetti, so I decided to make a vegetarian version of it. I serve this with roasted spaghetti squash and our favorite store-bought tomato sauce for a killer veggie dinner. We have dubbed these faux meatballs "Neat Balls." Get it. Neat balls instead of meat balls. Silly, I know. Feel free to make name replacement suggestions in the comments below! Also, please note that these are a little spicy. They were too spicy for my 8 year old step-son. I like spice, but if you don't, just lessen or eliminate the cayenne and crushed red pepper. And, to make this a completely vegan dish you can just cut out the egg.

NEAT BALLS

(makes about 20 2-inch meatballs)

 

2 stalks celery, chopped

1 small onion, chopped (about 1/2 - 3/4 cup)
4 cloves garlic, minced or pressed

10 ounces firm tofu, drained
¼ cup walnuts, finely ground
1 1/2 cups cooked brown lentils
1 3/4 cups quick-cooking oats
3 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons ketchup
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard 
4 tablespoons dry red wine

1 teaspoon salt  
2 Tablespoons fennel seed  
1 Tablespoon paprika  
1 teaspoon crushed red pepper
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper  
4 tablespoons fresh chopped parsley  
2 teaspoons freshly cracked black pepper 

1 chicken egg (or 4 quail eggs)

 

Sauté the celery, onion, garlic for about 5 minutes, until soft. Scrape into a large mixing bowl with the rest of the ingredients. Mix well. Form into 2-inch balls. Place balls on a parchment paper lined cookie sheet. Bake at 350º for approximately 30 min, or until toothpick comes out clean.

Birdseed Bundles

When I was a kid my mom used to make these amazing chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. When I got older I asked her for the recipe and she said it was just the recipe on the Quaker Oatmeal box with chocolate chips added! Brilliant, Mom!

The original Quaker Oats box top recipe.

 In recent years I have grown an affinity for making healthier versions of my favorite recipes. This was one such attempt that turned out surprisingly well. My goal was to make a breakfast cookie. Something that was a quick easy breakfast solution that I could grab on my way out the door and eat in the car without difficulty. My first few attempts were not good. They were the kind of health food that gives health food a bad rap. Nuts and twigs. Gross. That's when I recalled mom's oatmeal cookies! In my new breakfast version I altered the fats and the flours to contain slightly healthier choices and added in a bunch of high-protein, high-fiber mix-ins. The result was a delicious cookie that any health nut would be happy to eat!

The cookies do, however, have a lot of seeds and nuts, and thus they earned the name "Birdseed Bundles." (Caleb and I came up with several other humorous names for the cookies, including "Prairie Patties." I think you can see why "Birdseed Bundles" won out.) Hope you enjoy them as much as we do!

Kim’s Birdseed Bundles

7 Tbsp butter
7 Tbsp coconut oil
¾ cup firmly packed brown sugar
½ cup granulated raw sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
¾ cup all-purpose flour
¾ cup whole wheat flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
3 cups Quaker Oats (quick OR old fashioned, uncooked)
1 cup semi-sweet Ghirardelli chocolate chips
1 cup sweetened dried cherries
2 Tbsp. millet
2 Tbsp. flax seeds
½ cup slivered almonds

1.    Heat oven to 350ºF. In large bowl, beat butter, coconut oil and sugars on medium speed of electric mixer until creamy.
2.    Add eggs and vanilla; beat well.
3.    In a small bowl, combine flours, baking soda and salt. Add to wet ingredients. Mix well.
4.    With a wooden spoon, mix in oats, chocolate chips, cherries, millet, flax seeds and almonds. Dough will be quite dry. A spoonful will barely stay together.
5.    Drop dough by rounded tablespoonfuls on to parchment lined cookie sheets.
6.    Bake 8-10 minutes or until light golden brown.Cool 1 minute on cookie sheets; remove to wire rack. Cool completely. Store tightly covered. Makes about 4 dozen cookies.

Kim's Pickles

I made these from a combination of recipes and they turned out awesome. Here's the final amalgamated recipe. More than one person has told me they are the best pickles they have ever had.

Kim’s Pickles
(makes 2 quart jars of pickles) 

12 pickling cucumbers

Cut pickles and place them in 2 quart jars. 

Brine:

½ cup white vinegar
3 ½ cups water
2 Tbsp pickling salt

Warm brine in microwave for 2 minutes. Stir until salt dissolves.

Add the following to each quart jar:

4 cloves of garlic, cut in half
8 sprigs of fresh dill
1 tsp coriander seeds
½ tsp mustard seeds
½ tsp whole peppercorns
¼ tsp red pepper flakes 

Top off cucumbers and spices with the brine. Close jars. Leave jars on the counter anywhere from 3-7 days to naturally ferment. Once they have reached the desired amount of fermentation, keep them in the refrigerator. Enjoy!

Updated 11/19/14 from 2 to 4 cloves of garlic and from 4 to 8 sprigs of dill.

Poached Eggs

It's 11:00 AM on a Tuesday. This is about the time of day that I get hungry and start trolling through food blogs and recipe sites. I just saw a post on my favorite food blog, 101 Cookbooks, about a dish with black rice and poached eggs. Now, something you should know about me is that I love poached eggs.

When I was a little girl, my Grandpa Butterworth taught me how to make a "6-Minute Egg." He brought a pot of water to a boil, and gently lowered 2 eggs down into it. He set the egg timer for 6 minutes, and pulled them out just when the time was up. He put one on a plate for me and one on a plate for him. While the egg was still hot, he gingerly carved it in his hands. With one chop he sliced right through the shell and cut the egg in half, then he scraped the bright orange treasure out of each half with a quick swirl of the knife. He cut it into little bite-sized pieces and sprinkled it with salt and pepper.

This was the best egg I had ever tasted in my life up to that point. Probably mostly because it was made with such love and attention by my Grandpa just for me, but there was more to it. The white part was fully cooked, and the yellow part was perfectly half solid and half liquid. You could tell that Grandpa had gotten very scientific about this process. He told me he had tried boiling eggs for 5 minutes or 7 minutes, but 6 was just perfect. And he was right. A simple egg, so delicious.

Before and since, I have tried lots of other kinds of eggs that I just did not prefer. You see, fried eggs are, well, fried, and that's not as good because of the oil. And, honestly, I don't like the way the texture of the whites can quickly get so tough when they are fried. It feels almost like eating plastic wrap. I don't like runny yolks, because, well, that's gross. But, you don't want it so well done that it's dry either. And there's no question, the white part absolutely must be fully cooked. Scrambled eggs are good. I especially like them with cheese, but if I'm going to eat just simply an egg, I have learned that there is only one improvement to be made on Grandpa Butterworth's 6-Minute Egg. And that is poaching.

You see, when you boil an egg it gives the perfect consistency, the only challenge then becomes how to get your boiling hot egg out of that boiling hot shell. There's the chance of burning your fingers, and even if you find a way to avoid that, there is then a chance you will get flecks of shell in your egg or, heaven forbid, that you will not get the complete egg out of the shell. Even with a spoon you don't get that perfect round end product. It comes out in jagged pieces. Yes, the only way to improve on Grandpa's 6-Minute Egg is to poach it. This eliminates the shell altogether, while still giving you that perfectly cooked consistency that I experience with Grandpa's egg.

Poaching eggs is not hard once you know how to do it, but as I've learned, there are lots of ways to screw it up. First, start with fresh eggs. The fresher they are, the better they hold together. Then, add just a splash of white vinegar to the water. It helps to coagulate the egg. The main trick is to be gentle. The water must be steaming hot, but must have no bubbles, or next to no bubbles. The bubbles will break up the egg and give you basically, egg drop soup, which is delicious, but not what we're looking for here. The water must be still, and gentle on the egg, like a sleeping baby you don't want to wake up. I usually bring the water to a boil, and then turn it down until there are no bubbles. Then, you must crack the egg into a cup or ramekin and then gently lower it into the water. I like to use a coffee mug, because the handle keeps your hand safely out of the boiling hot water. There should be no haphazard tossing the little embryo right into the pot. Be gentle. Entering the egg just along the side of the pot helps hold it together, too. 

I have found that cooking the egg in the water for about 5 minutes gets the yolk half cooked, just like grandpa's egg. (No shell = less cooking time.) Actually, another nice thing about having no shell, is that you can actually pull the egg up out of the water with a slotted spoon and feel how done the yolk is. If it's hard, with no give, then you have fully hard boiled it. If it feels really squishy like a ziploc bag with water in it when you touch it, then the insides are really squishy too. If it has body, but still gives a little, it's perfect.

When the eggs are done, remove them from the water with a slotted spoon. Place them on a paper towel, or clean kitchen towel and gently pat their tops dry. Many chefs forget this step when I order poached eggs in restaurants, and it is awful. It creates a big pool of water on your plate. Even if they serve them in a ramekin, I end up having to use all my napkins to dry up the puddle underneath them. After that, some people cut off the angel-y bits that sometimes occur around the edges, but I never do.

Now you have a perfectly cooked egg, no burnt fingers, no shells in your yolks. I still like to slice it into bite-sized pieces and sprinkle it with salt and pepper just like Grandpa Butterworth did all those years ago. I think of him every time I eat it that way. Nowadays I usually have my eggs in Eggs Benedict or some other brunch-y dish, with a nice mimosa on the side.

Happy poaching!

The Recession

I have a friend. Let's call her "Francesca" to preserve her privacy. This year I watched Francesca struggle to find work. She searched for months without luck. After a while she was unable to pay important bills like her car payment and utilities. She was only able to continue paying her rent due to family and friends that were sending her money. It was scary to watch. Like she was slowly falling off a cliff and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Towards the end she thought she was going to have to live in her car. It was a bad time for her. Finally, she found a job, and now she is catching up and getting back on her feet. Watching her struggle to find work really made the news hit home. We are in a recession.

Luckily, I have never had trouble finding work. Perhaps that is due to the fact that I have very low standards for myself when it comes to jobs that I will take. I am not beneath doing retail at the mall, temping in an office, waiting tables, cleaning houses. I have unique skills that I can market independent of a company such as sewing, teaching voice lessons, organizing people's homes, singing in a band. Also, I am a trained actress, and I have had great luck finding work in theatre and television. Plus, it hasn't hurt me that I am still young-ish, my figure is still at least "average", and some would say I'm kind of pretty. I have been blessed to always have work. Granted, I'm not out there looking for a CEO job, or some specialized skill job like a doctor or an attorney, but perhaps in this recession, that has worked to my advantage.

A few years ago I read the book Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki. Before I go into this, let me say that the Rich Dad, Poor Dad organization promotes a get-rich-quick scheme. Just know that, in case you were thinking about reading the book or going to any of their "free" seminars. That being said, I learned a lot about economics from the book and I would still recommend reading it. The story is that the author's father was poor, and his friend's dad was rich. His friend's dad became a mentor to him in his journey towards becoming a successful entrepreneur. The main thing I took from this book was the fact that, in general, it's the bosses that get rich, not the peons. It's the people that take that risk of starting a business that get the greater reward in the end. Of course, there was a lot more to it besides that, but this idea really stuck out to me. He also brought up the question, why does that business owner owe a job to his workers? They have the same opportunity to go out there and start their own company. That's how a capitalist system works. It's something I had never considered before.

Of course, one wants to be a moral person, a fair employer. I would bet that most of the world's CEOs want to do right by their employees. However, in reality we are all self-serving. That is our human nature and that is why democracy works. We all vote for the person who will serve our interests the best. Then, whoever is voted into office (theoretically) represents the interests of the majority. The fact is, that if a company is not making enough money, the employer cannot afford to retain so many employees. It's not personal, it's a mathematical fact. And that's why my friend Francesca was out of work.

I was inspired to write about this today when I read this cartoon. A professor at my old university had posted it on Facebook. I don't watch the news really ever. I get most of my information about the world from NPR on my commute to and from work, so I didn't know what the reference to Frances Fox Piven was. I looked it up and found this article, which is shocking in itself. Then I linked from there to the article in reference by Ms. Piven.

I must say, I had mixed feelings as I read her article. I am a Democrat. I think President Obama is the best president ever. I am in favor of socialized health care. However, I think I have a touch of entrepreneurial spirit within my soul, and hearing unemployed workers whine brings a few thoughts to the front of my brain. Number one, why does our government owe you a job? Why does any other hard working business owner owe you a job? They worked hard to get where they are, and just because their path was profitable and yours was not does not mean that they owe you a job. Why don't you create a job for yourself instead of depending on someone else to do it? And, in a sense, I guess that is a Republican way of thinking, which makes me feel strange inside to say because most things about the Republican party rub me the wrong way.

I guess, if the government is creating an atmosphere that is unfriendly to businesses and business owners, that is a problem, because, in a sense, then the government is preventing the success of it's own people. But our country has a deficit to pay off, and that is going to hurt, no matter what. If you had a credit card to pay off, your life would suck a little more while you gave up fun things in order to pay off your balance. So, how do we solve this problem? How do we pay off our deficit and not put our money-makers out of business? We can't sacrifice to pay off our debts and not expect life to suck at least a little. But, it gets so jumbled when it's on such a large scale. These characters of The Government and Big Business and Unemployed Workers take on sort of vaudevillian roles in the stories the news tells us.

If this were a small village of 20 people perhaps things would be clearer. We would all do our part in our little community to keep everyone fed and clothed. Then, one day lets say we decide it would be a good idea to have a water well so that we don't have to carry water from the stream into the village. Ok, so we all contribute a little money (taxes) and get a well built. This makes our lives much easier. Everybody loves the well. Now, however, we have to maintain the well. This will require each of us to pay a small amount every year (taxes) in order to keep it running. No problem! We're all glad to pay, because we are glad to have the easily accessible clean water.

Now, let's say we all decide we want electricity in our village. It's going to cost more money than we have in our pockets to get it installed, so we borrow some money from the village next door. We agree to make payments to them (in taxes) until it's all paid off. Now, let's say that our whole village earns their money from wheat crops, and there's a bad storm that ruins 50% of our harvest. We can't afford to feed our families, and there's not enough money to pay for well maintenance and the electrical payments to the village next door. What would our little village do in that scenario? It's an important thing to examine, because that's the state that our great country is in. We owe the countries next door lots of money and we haven't had the economic success that we were hoping for. Our government is us. We are our government. It's not like "They" aren't serving us well. "WE" aren't serving us well. This is our country and sometimes things just happen that we're not prepared for.

It is hard when people don't have jobs. There are all kinds of complicated social injustices I think we would all like to solve. But this one, the economy, is so complex. I can't give you a job if I don't have enough sales to pay you from. Our government can't provide services when it doesn't earn enough in taxes to pay for those services. If this was our little village of 20 people I think we'd go without a little bit more, and maybe create some new forms of revenue that are more appropriate for the climate. Maybe we'd start raising sheep for wool or chickens for their eggs. In a real family, or in a small community like that, you just get creative and adapt as the problems are thrown at you. On a larger scale, that's what we're going to have to do, too. I hope it's that simple. I hope there aren't corrupt politicians out there trying to take advantage of the helpless, or evil villian CEOs twisting their moustaches and plotting the country's demise. I hope there aren't. I really, really hope there aren't. And maybe if we hope hard enough we'll all make it out of this alive.